A Little Empty

I’ve been feeling a bit spiritually empty lately.  It is not that I am dissatisfied with my religion, but more that I am unhappy with how I practise it (or, more accurately, how I don’t).

It pretty much comes down to the fact that being a mom is difficult.  The Baby Man is nearly nine months old, and far from being self sufficient.  (Although he can hold his bottle now, so that’s a start.)  So, while he is awake, everything revolves around him.  Sure, I can get in some knitting or cross stitching once in a while, while he is concentrating on eating his toys.  But concentrating on my Tarot studies or the like is pretty much right out of the question.

Living in a busy city also makes it difficult for me to feel spiritual, to feel a connection with nature.  But the divine does have a way of shining through, when I am willing to pay attention.  Today, while walking down a very busy street, I saw a monarch butterfly resting on a clover flower, and ducks swimming in Mimico Creek.

I wonder if I looked hard enough if I might find the spiritual fulfillment I’m temporarily lacking in simple things, like the Baby Man’s insatiable curiosity, the cat’s ability to remain clam regardless of what’s happening, and the leaves changing colour just outside my windows.  Maybe these things are tide me over until I can return to my meditation practice and my spiritual studies.  I’m sure all of this is a wonderful life lesson that will teach me much and that I will reflect on for years to come.

On a totally different topic, if you are Canadian, get out and vote today!  It is important!  And if you don’t vote, you lose your right to complain about the government.  Who wants to give that up?


2 Responses

  1. Jen says:

    I hear you on the lack of time for spirituality when you have a little one. I imagine myself in the future a crone meditating each morning, and taking the time to listen to the wind. Until then my son (10 months) and I enjoy each other and I fit in 5 minutes here and there. I think there is a spiritual side to mothering that connects one to the Goddess on a very primal level. Hang on there, and I’ll try to as well.

  2. Beverly says:

    When my son was an infant there were times I often felt overwhelmed between raising him, being a wife and working full-time. But now he’s 16 and I cherish every moment with him. I’ve spent the last 11 years raising him by myself and I’ll never get this time back. So enjoy this time with your son, you’ll never regret it and neither will he.