There is much debate within the Wiccan community, and the Pagan community at large, about the duality of the divine. Some argue that we should only worship the feminine divine, the Goddess or Lady, in order to redress the imbalance caused by two thousand years of worship of a male divinity, the Abrahamic religions’ God/Allah/Jehovah/Yahaweh. Others argue that the imbalance, if there is one¹, can only be corrected through worship of both the feminine and masculine divine, the Lord and Lady. My beliefs lie somewhere in this second group. But, as a Solitary, I recognize how hard it can be to relate to the divinity that is of the opposite gender.

It is extremely important to cultivate a relationship with both the Lord and Lady. As a Solitary, it is easy to stick with the energy that you know — women focusing on the Goddess and men on the God. However, just as the world is made up of men and women, so do we also encompass masculine and feminine qualities. To deny a deity of one gender is to deny the qualities of that gender within yourself. And to honour deities of both genders is to honour all sides of yourself, your loved ones, and the people you interact with everyday.²

So how does a Solitary achieve duality in their practice? It can be difficult. I will freely admit to focusing more on the Goddess then the God. Since I am a woman, I feel that I understand Her better, but I do not ignore the God. I include Him my prayers and rituals, and in my thoughts and meditation. Masculine symbols, such as the athame and wand, are present in my working tools. I also do not try to turn every Sabbat into a holiday celebrating the Goddess alone. The Lord is Her partner, and He is the key figure in many Sabbats. (Yule, for example, is a celebration of His rebirth.) To minimize His role is to minimize the roles of men in general.

The key, as with most of life, is to find a balance. There will be times when masculine energy makes more sense, and there will be times when feminine energy is more useful. Be aware of which face of divinity you are calling upon most often and why. Makes changes where you feel it is necessary to create and maintain balance within your practice. Remember that you honour all sides of yourself and nature when you honour both the Lord and Lady equally.

1. I am not so sure that there is an imbalance since there are many cultures worldwide that have, and continue to, recognize and worship both male and female deities.

2. There are, unfortunately, people of both genders who have issues with the opposite gender, whether due to abuse, rape or other incidents. Thankfully I have never experienced this, so I can not truly relate. However, the Lord and Lady love us all unconditionally, and opening ourselves to Their love can be healing.