More Thoughts on the Seeker

Not surprisingly, I’m a bit behind when it comes to the exercises with the Gaian Tarot and the online community. When you have a toddler, life isn’t always what you’d like it to be. And, yeah, that is a bit of an excuse, but it is also true.

Anyway, today I am having a bit of a hard time with the Seeker. I believe in my last post I mentioned that life is a bit uncertain around here. Okay, in all honesty, life is generally always uncertain. But we are waiting for more information and someone else to make up their mind before we make a big decision. A really big decision. And part of the problem is that some people are trying to talk us out of it, some people think it is a great idea, and, well, I just want us to decide one way or the other.

This brings me to the Seeker. She has decided. She is setting off on her journey and heading out into the unknown. I don’t know if she is as afraid as I am, or if she is as excited as I am. What I do know is that I want to be her. I want to take this chance, even if it turns out to suck. I still want to try.

But that leaves me thinking about how I will feel if it doesn’t happen. How can I still accomplish the things I want to accomplish, and what can I do instead?

Right now, though, I’m stuck in this unknowing limbo, unable to do much of anything other than envy the Seeker.


2 Responses

  1. Sam says:

    My dear,
    ‘Darkness’ or limbo as you call it is sometimes good. It allows you to focus on the present. On everyday tasks, to enjoy the sunsets, smell the flowers etc. So whatever it is you are waiting for will happen if and when it has too. Trust this universe and think positive. Don’t get attached too much to what you expect to happen. I also read your previous blog about not being feeling well. Please check your thyroid levels and rule out depression. (Just a suggestion.)

    Take care. Best wishes.

  2. Silverlotus says:

    You are right. I’m starting to come to terms with this waiting.

    As for the health issues, my thyroid is fine and it isn’t depression. (I’ve been there once and I know what that is like.) Hopefully I’ll get it figured out eventually, but right now I am accepting it as a sign that I need to take care of myself just as much as I need to take care of my family.