The Long Journey

Sometimes I feel a little unsure of my faith. I question whether I am a good Wiccan or even a good person. I wonder if I am doing the right thing, and what I else I can do to make myself and the world better. I know I don’t recycle as much as I should. I spend too much money on myself and don’t donate enough to worthy causes. But even after all this questioning, I still know, deep deep down, that I am loved.

I am loved by my parents, even though we argue over silly things. I am loved deeply by quanta, even when I grouch at him. I am loved by my friends, even though I question their existence sometimes. And I am loved by the divine, even though I’m not always sure what form It or They take.

In the past I haven’t really paid much attention to my relationship with the divine. I was more concerned with my personal spirituality. Strangely, I always felt like something was missing. Now I know what that something was — a personal relationship with the divine as I see, and as I need it to support me.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I had an inner talk with Isis, the face I give to the Lady, the female face of the divine. I asked Her to help guide me in making the right choices, and I asked for Her love even if I made the wrong decisions. I didn’t ask for Her to make the way easier for me, nor did I ask Her to make my decisions for me. I know that these things are up to me. But knowing that I have Her love and guidance, along with that of the Lord, quanta, and my friends and family, make things a little easier for me. The spiritual journey may be personal, but it isn’t something that I can do on my own.