The Start of My Search

Lately I’ve been trying to remember what it was that made me decided to looking into other religions. I know it was sometime in middle school (grades 6-8), but I’ve had trouble remembering what the impetus was. But the other day, when watching something on TV, it suddenly came to me–reading Judy Blume’s Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret told me it was okay to question my relationship with God and to look for a faith and practice that made sense to me.

Shortly afterwards I began reading the Bible. Honestly, it is a little bit boring in the beginning, but since I’ve always been a voracious reader, I made it through eventually. Once I was finished, I was pretty sure that I needed to find a faith better suited to my beliefs. After that, I started looking into other religions by reading various books I signed out from the library. (These were the days just before easy and cheap internet access.)

I’m not really sure why I was drawn to Wicca. I had been reading Tarot cards for at least a year before I began this search, but I always saw them as an extension as my relationship with God, not as a “gateway to the occult.” I had also read a lot of books about witches, ghosts, vampires, etc. However, even to this day these aren’t things I associate with Wicca. I’m sure at some point there was some book that either connected Tarot or medieval witches with Wicca, and that lead me to learn more about it. I do remember feeling like I had found that right religion. It just… made sense.

Shortly afterwards I started buying books. Some were good and some were bad, but I kept learning. I had pages of notes, piles of stones, but no working tools. Over the years my faith and practice has waxed and waned, and I became a lot less fluffy. I’m sort of rediscovering the mystery of my faith right now, although I would say overall I am more practical and pragmatic about my it then ever. My pile of notes has declined, but my collection of books has increased. I have working tools now, but I don’t feel that they are necessary. I am learning to make my faith more personal within the Wiccan framework, and in the process I am discovering a great deal about myself.

1 Comment

One Response

  1. ari says:

    How cool! I’ve read the Bible many times over. If you sit down and read it as a history book, it’s quite a read. But like you, I searched for something else to fulfill my beliefs. Wicca as it’s called is close, but I follow a more natural path without all the high ceremony. The cool thing about faith, it’s a never ending journey, always taking you someplace you never thought you would go!