Sitting with Buddha

A few days ago, I spent some time sitting in front of the Buddha in the picture to the right.  He is part of the Royal Ontario Museum’s collection, and is perhaps my favourite.  He used to sit ROM Buddhain a quite, darkened hall, but with the renovations he is now is a light, open space that no longer has the feeling of calm found is is previous home.

As I sat in front of this Buddha I wrote.  I wrote about what I needed to do for myself (which was confirm a doctor appointment… baby steps), what I needed to do from my family, and what I needed to do for work.  I wrote about my goals for the month of April, some of which I have happily already accomplished.  I wrote about my goals for May, which revolve around me since it is my birthday month.  I wrote a small wish list, and I wrote about gifts I want to give.  I took stock of life, I guess you could say, while sitting in front of my favourite Buddha.

The most important, and enlightening, things I wrote were things that I have learned about myself.  For example, I have trouble finding balance; I’m usually all about one thing with the exclusion of others, and then cycle through my interests as the mood takes me.  I shop when I’m confused, not when I’m sad.  I don’t want to feel or seem like I am doing without.  And, I pretend to be a lot dumber than I am.

I haven’t yet figured out why I am the way I am.  I think that is a longer journey then can be taken sitting in front of a Buddha for 45 minutes.  But at least, in the midst of being a mommy, trying to figure out why people by cell phones (yeah, that’s part of my job), and kitting and cross stitching to keep my sanity, I’ve manged to put my foot back on the spiritual path.  One step at a time, and who knows, maybe I’ll get a little closer to this Buddha one day.