I feel like I’ve spent the last few days wallowing in self-pity, even though there isn’t really anything wrong with my life. My biggest problems are the little man’s potential allergy to peanuts (testing will be done later this month), living in a nice condo instead of a house, and feeling creatively barren. Boo hoo me. And all of this leads me to feeling even worse about feeling bad. Dumb.

All of this shameless navel gazing has lead me to think about what I’m going to be able to do/need to do with my life when the little man starts school in September 2012 (he’s a January baby, so we have to wait a whole year before he can start). After what will be more than four and a half years of defining myself as his mom, I think I’m going to be at a bit of a loss. I don’t want that to  happen. As a first step, I’m taking a bit of a personal retreat sometime in the next couple of months. A few nights, alone, at a downtown hotel to think, and read, and knit, and write. I’m giving up going to a stitching retreat to do this, but I think this is a good first step in what I’m not really sure. Maybe to find myself, or to find a way to re-engage with my life as it is, and to figure out how to shape it and me for a happier and more fulfilled future.