Sitting with Buddha

A few days ago, I spent some time sitting in front of the Buddha in the picture to the right.  He is part of the Royal Ontario Museum’s collection, and is perhaps my favourite.  He used to sit ROM Buddhain a quite, darkened hall, but with the renovations he is now is a light, open space that no longer has the feeling of calm found is is previous home.

As I sat in front of this Buddha I wrote.  I wrote about what I needed to do for myself (which was confirm a doctor appointment… baby steps), what I needed to do from my family, and what I needed to do for work.  I wrote about my goals for the month of April, some of which I have happily already accomplished.  I wrote about my goals for May, which revolve around me since it is my birthday month.  I wrote a small wish list, and I wrote about gifts I want to give.  I took stock of life, I guess you could say, while sitting in front of my favourite Buddha.

The most important, and enlightening, things I wrote were things that I have learned about myself.  For example, I have trouble finding balance; I’m usually all about one thing with the exclusion of others, and then cycle through my interests as the mood takes me.  I shop when I’m confused, not when I’m sad.  I don’t want to feel or seem like I am doing without.  And, I pretend to be a lot dumber than I am.

I haven’t yet figured out why I am the way I am.  I think that is a longer journey then can be taken sitting in front of a Buddha for 45 minutes.  But at least, in the midst of being a mommy, trying to figure out why people by cell phones (yeah, that’s part of my job), and kitting and cross stitching to keep my sanity, I’ve manged to put my foot back on the spiritual path.  One step at a time, and who knows, maybe I’ll get a little closer to this Buddha one day.

Navigation Working Again

The navigation menu problem has been fixed.  Yay!

New articles are being written and should be posted in a couple of days.

Navigation Menu Broken

It appears that a plugin has broken my navigation menu.  I’m not sure how to fix it right now.  In the meantime, you can get around the site by using the site map.  With luck, I will have the navigation menu running by the end of the day.

The Life of Uncle Al

A while back I went on a bit of a Crowley binge.  I wasn’t reading his works or studying his Tarot deck, instead I was studying him.  I read three different biographies in an attempt to learn more about the man behind all of those nasty, naughty stories.  I wanted to know if he really was the “Wickedest Man in the World”, or if he just got a bum rap from the press.  It is true that I could have gone directly to the source, reading all of Crowley’s works in order to get a better view of the man.  But, before I made the plunge, I wanted to know more about his life and how he became such a great Magnus.

What I discovered is that he was a bit of an egotist, a whole lot of showman, and just a dash of lonely little boy.  He was addicted to drugs, but partly because when he was a younger man, some of them were prescribed to help his asthma.  He went through many women in his life, and had a relationship or two with men.  I think he tried to be a family man, but I don’t think he knew how.

Reading the biographies didn’t really help me decide whether he channelled the Book of the Law.  It didn’t help me figure out if his Tarot deck was divinely inspired.  But I did learn about his life; about the man who became the magician.  I think that learning about these influences will help me better evaluate his writings when I read more of them.

And, you know, after reading so much about him, I can’t help but feel that at least sometimes he was actually maybe pulling our leg just a little.

Updates Delaid

As I was sitting down to type up some new material for the website, I realized that it had gone missing. To be fair, these were notes from before I had the baby, written more than a year ago. Goodness knows where they have gone. Normally I’m very organized, but as anyone with a child knows, chaos follows babies. I’ll try to find the notes, or do my best to replicate them. I’m still aiming to have a couple of new reviews up by the end of this week.

I’m also considering offering free one-card Tarot readings again, via email. I’m curious if anyone would be interested. As always, you can contact me here. Please don’t request a reading at this time, though. Just let me know if you might be interested.

If I Told You, How Could I Sell It?

I came across something in The Sacred Tarot by C.C. Zain (that Church of Light book I mentioned the other day)

…The truly scientific man does not hold what he discovers, or what others have discovered, merely to benefit a chosen few… It has always seemed to me a colossal piece of selfishness for any group of men, if they really possessed information that might be beneficial to all mankind, to hoard it for themselves alone.

I hold, therefore, that secrecy in any matter that will aid the soul in gaining knowledge of its true relations to the universe, or will assist in making life happier, or the attainment of spirituality easier, is not a virtue.

Something to think about the next time you come across someone wanting to offer you a course in “magical secrets” for $1000.

Cross on the Hill

Stoney Creek CrossMy grandfather was a very religious man.  He became an elder at the church we attended, and lived his faith until he died of MS at the age of 69.  He did a lot of things in his life, like raising three daughters and laying communications lines during WWII.  I think , though, he was perhaps most proud of the cross that he and two other men erected on the hill overlooking the Devil’s Punch Bowl in Stoney Creek, Ontario.

I have a lot of documentation about the whole process of getting permission to erect the cross.  I have bills for lights and letters from the town.  I have pictures and newspaper articles.  What I don’t have, and wish dearly that I did, was something directly from my grandfather telling me how he felt about it all.  I suspect that if he tried to get the cross erected today it wouldn’t happen.  We live in a different world.  In 1966 it was still generally assumed that everyone was Christian, so religious displays were okay.

I’m not big on advertising one’s religion, so my feelings about the cross are mixed.  On one hand, I’m proud that he had the drive and faith required for such a momentus project.  On the other hand, I see it as a reminder of that earlier time when we were all expected to follow the common faith.  I suspect if my grandfather was alive today we would have a lot of difference.  My choice of religion would problably cause him some pain.  But I also think he would be proud of me for everything I’ve done, even if he disagrees with some of it, just like I’m proud of him.

As an aside, I just wanted to note that when I Googled “Stoney Creek Cross”, the hits all related to the Stoney Creek Collection, who publishes cross stitch charts.  Funny, but it seems my grandfather and I are sort of connected this way too.

Does Bad History Make it Worthless?

I have written in the past about my concerns about channelled books and about information passed on by those who have left the path, but now I’m wondering about those works which clearly contain “bad history” and other things that are widely known to have been disproved.  Examples that come to mind here are Margaret Murray‘s works or that good old Ancient Potato Goddess featured in a book on Celtic spirituality published (and obviously  not fact-checked) by everyone’s favourite new age publisher.

Right now I’m reading The Sacred Tarot, a book published by The Church of Light (an occult organization that offers correspondences courses).  This book falls into the trap of promoting the Tarot as something created by the Ancient Egyptians.  I’m not talking about the ideas of the Tarot, I’m talking about the actual cards.  I feel, though, that most of the other information in this book is valid, like the discussions on the Kabbalah (from an occultist’s point of view, of course), numerology, and Tarot card meanings.  But does a little bit of misinformation invalidate the entire work?

In this case, I think the wisdom of the time needs to be considered.  In 1936 it was generally believed that the Tarot did come from the Ancient Egyptians.  Or, at least it was a belief generally held by occultists.  However, if a modern work were to present this history as fact, I would be very concerned about the work as a whole.  I think when reading any non-fiction work, especially those of an esoteric or occult nature, we need to be on the look out for things that don’t mesh with what we know to be true.  Yes, they generally are supposed to be dealing with “secret knowledge”, but when they can’t get what is common knowledge right, something else important may be wrong too.

I would love to be able tell anyone instered in Wicca to read Ronald Hutton’s Triumph of the Moon or Philip Heselton’s Wiccan Roots.  (I understand that Gerald Gardner and the Cauldron of Inspiration by Philip Heselton is also very good, but I don’t have a copy yet.  That’s a hint, quanta.) And I think anyone interested in Tarot should read Tarot: History, Symbolism and Divination by Robert M. Place as well as Decker, Depaulis and Dummett’s books A Wicked Pack of Cards and A History of the Occult Tarot.  Those books, I think, provide great foundations.  And from there you can build on more esoteric knowledge, knowing that you have the real world basics down.

Moved!

I’ve finally moved over the last page from the old site. Everything that was available on the old, purple site is now here. I will soon start setting up permanent redirects from the old site just to make sure that nothing disappears for anyone.

I’m so happy to finally have everything moved! Now I can concentrate on writing new material. Thank goodness!

Loss of Faith

Over the years that I have been aware of the greater Pagan community, I have seen some relatively well known spokespeople step away from Paganism and declare that their beliefs now lie in another direction.  Some do this vocally, and insult Paganism on their way out the door, others do it quietly, making us wonder what caused them to change their minds.

When the reason for leaving the community is because the person found a new faith, I am a bit surprised.  I think that to be a spokesperson, either through teaching, writing or producing a podcast, one must be pretty sure of their faith.   I wonder what it was that changed their mind, and what it does to the validity of the material they have produced.

I’m probably one of the most lacks Wiccans there is.  I can’t remember the last time I celebrated a Sabbat or talked to the divine.  And yet, I know this is my faith.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes question my beliefs or wonder what it might be like to follow another path.  But, deep down, I know this is my path.

But, what if, years from now, I decide to follow another path?  Buddhism calls to me sometimes, and I will admit that I occasionally envy the fellowship found in Christian churches.  If I decide to follow one of those paths in my later years, will it invalidate everything I said about Wicca?  I don’t know.  I do know that what I write and say now is true for me.  And if someone learns from it and makes it true for themselves, I think that is good too.  Beyond that, I just don’t know.

Maybe it is like falling out of love.  It doesn’t change the past, but it does make the future a very different place.