27 Jul 05

Letting Books Go

I’ve spent the last week or so going through my collection of books. It is part of my plan to reduce the amount of books on my poor, groaning bookshelf, and so far I’ve made a pretty good dent in my collection. Choosing which fiction books to get rid of was pretty easy. It more or less came down to whether or not I thought I would read the book again. For a majority of my books the answer is yes, but for a few the answer was a big no. I am also rather proud of myself for being able to let go of some totally unneeded self-help books. Honestly, I think that some of them cause more trouble then good.

Yesterday I started working my way through my collection of Wicca, Tarot, and related books. Surprisingly I’ve already weeded out about six books. Reading through some of them, I’ve come to realize that either they are too simplistic since the are aimed at absolute beginners, or that they repeat information that is also in another book, which is often much better written and more detailed. I think that I hung on to some of these books for so long because I felt like a Wiccan should have them (i.e. Drawing Down the Moon or The Spiral Dance), and also because I sort of felt like a Wiccan should have a bookshelf full of Wiccan books.

I’ve learned a lot from Wiccan books, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret… I’ve learned more from mythology and history books, and I’ve learned the most from nature and the Lord and Lady. I almost feel like trying to live up to what is in these books is holding me back. It is time to let go and to stand on my own two feet. I am trying to be very selective and keep only the more advanced and/or the best written books on Wicca and Tarot. And, you know, for some reason I am finding it much easier then I thought to make the determination of which books to keep.

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14 Jul 05

Strength to Hold the Reins

Going through my Tarot deck yesterday, I got to thinking about the change that occurs as we move from The Chariot (7) to Strength (8). It is like a point of no return; we have left our innocence behind for good.

With the Chariot we first discover our dark, or shadow, side, but it is a mild encounter and we are easily able to restore the balance using what we have learned previously (The Magician through The Lovers). But when we reach Strength, our self confidence has been shaken. We need to learn to trust ourselves again. We can still benefit from the lesson we have learned, but we also know that it is time to set out on a new path inwards, shown by The Hermit.

I just wanted to let everyone know that my comments script has been disabled for a short while. I was slammed with a lot of comment spam today, none of which made it through, but which caused too much server stress. If you would like to comment on any entry in the meantime, please send me your comment through the email me link, and I will manually add it.

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23 Jun 05

Seeing Cygnus

Last Friday I bought myself a swan broach. This week I spotted a cute plush swan in a catalog at work. Apollo, the Greek god of divination and prophecy and the cultivated arts, has made numerous appearances in my life over the past year, for nearly as long as swans have ben haunting my dreams.

I now know that there is a connection between swans and Apollo. It feels as though He has been calling me subtly, testing me to see if I could discover who he was. Now that I have realized that Apollo is calling to me, I feel a little confused. To me, He is a very patriarchal god. In one of His myths He slew the Python, a figure representative of the pre-historic Goddess religion. He is also known for His numerous love affairs, many of which did not end happily.

I see myself as fairly feminist in my worship. I am a devotee of Isis, a very feminine goddess. To be called by such a masculine god must be a way to balance out my worship. The two, an unlikely pair in my eyes, give me a chance to experience a greater spectrum of the divine. It will be interesting to see how Their energies interact.

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8 Jun 05

Quantum Magic

I’ve started reading The Science of the Craft by William H. Keith, which is a look at how quantum physics relates to magic and so-called “occult phenomena”. The review of elementary physics was very interesting, and helped to remind me just how much I enjoyed physics in school. But the weirdness of light being both a particle and wave, and reality being changed through the act of being observed, and the possibility of multiple realities just plain makes my head spin. Of course, I don’t even think that electricity should work and planes certainly shouldn’t be able to fly.

So how does magic work within the structure of quantum physics? Well, I haven’t gotten to that part yet. But I do have some ideas, since this is something that I have thought about before.

So, my first thought comes from the idea of multiple realities covering all possible outcomes. The act of casting a spell or preforming a magical rite shifts us from our reality to the reality where the outcome we want actually occurs. During a spell or rite, a key component is to strongly visualize the outcome, and I think that this may be the observer effect of quantum physics, where observing the event makes it real.

Okay, I’m no scientist and my ideas may be way off. (I can just see one particular reader of mine cringing, since he is a physicist.) Maybe magic is just magic. But since I consider myself a rational person (stop laughing!), I feel a little better thinking that science and magic just may be the same thing.

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6 Jun 05

Medieval Enchantment

I have been neglecting my Tarot studies almost completely over the past several months. One project that I was very excited about hasn’t progressed beyond the first page, and even that is still undone. Two weeks ago, though, I picked up the Medieval Enchantment Tarot (previously The Nigel Jackson Tarot) and it has rekindled my interest in the esoteric aspects of the Tarot.

I find myself being seduced by the Tarot’s mystery all over again. This deck seems very ethereal to me, making me want to learn all of its secrets. In some respects I feel a little silly falling under the spell of this deck since I am hardly a Tarot novice. But, then again, it is good to feel inspired again.

I don’t think this deck is “the one”, but it is enough that it has provided me with inspiration. I am very glad to be returning to my Tarot studies.

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14 May 05

Be the Change

Be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

I found this quote in a little gift book we are selling at work. I find it very relevant and inspiring with regards to how I have been feeling lately.

First, a little bit of background. For several years, I have been quite exasperated with people who use the fact that they are Pagan as an excuse for outlandish appearance and foolish actions. Lately, I have become almost totally fed up. I can’t even count the number of giant pentagrams I’ve seen people on the subway sporting. (How would you feel if someone wearing a 10″ cross sat down beside you? A little creeped out, maybe?) quanta, who is usually a very sensitive man, even commented that Wicca is starting to become a joke when he heard about the kid with the lipstick. So, what can I do, beyond totally distancing myself from the Pagan community? Here the words of Gandhi have provided me with inspiration.

Instead of quietly despairing about what I see happening, I should try to make changes through my own actions and writing. I hope that I already do this to some extent by showing that a Pagan can be well educated and well read and still be very spiritual. I hope that I also demonstrate in my everyday life that a Wiccan does not have to wear all black, garish make-up, tons of jewelry, or pseudo-medieval clothing in order to practice their religion.

I really don’t mean to be overly harsh towards the types of people I have mentioned. But I am saddened when this subset of the Pagan movement causes the entire group to look foolish. Pagans follow legitimate spiritual paths, but rather then drawing attention to our spiritual beliefs through our daily actions, these incidents draw attention away and onto our appearances.

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14 Apr 05

Who's Daughter?

Why is that when you think you are starting to figure out life, something comes along that causes you to question everything? I’ve recently started reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd. Even though I have rarely felt overwhelmed by the masculine world, there is something about this book that is touching me deeply in my soul. It is starting something that I can’t quite put into words yet.

Part of the reason I became Wiccan was in order to find a religion that offered a more equal world view. And yet, I wonder if I am really pursuing my religion in that manner. Ah, there are so many thoughts going through my head, and I don’t know how to put most of them into words.

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10 Feb 05

House of Cards

I’m very surprised with the way my Tarot collection has changed over the past couple of years. Back when I first started reading Tarot, nearly fourteen years ago, I had only one deck. I bought another deck, but quickly sold it off to a used bookstore. After using my single deck for about two years, I moved on to my next deck. It kept me happy for many years, all through high school in fact. I eventually tried branching out and bought a couple of other decks, after losing interest in my old decks and their symbolism and (in one case) weird take on traditional symbolism.

During university I all but put Tarot aside. I just didn’t have time to spend on it. When I picked up my decks again, I found that none of them suited me. I traded them away and got other decks, which, in the end, turned out to be pretty much the same as the ones I originally had. I had been sticking with the fairly traditional, and ignoring deeper symbolism.

Lately my deck collection has really morphed it something totally different. Although I am in the process of selling off my Thoth deck and books, I still have one Thoth based deck. I also have a Marseille deck and book, and a feminist deck. I’ve got the standard Rider-Waite-Smith deck and deck that takes a reverse look at it (Tarot of the New Vision). I also have a Pagan deck and an Ancient Egyptian deck. My collection has become much more rounded, and with it so has my knowledge of Tarot. There is a lot to be said for moving out of one’s comfort zone.

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29 Jan 05

Getting to Know You – New Age Style

I found this on Nina Lee Braden’s website.

* Favorite Stone or Crystal: Moonstone
* Favorite Incense: Nag Champa
* Favorite Essential Oil: Isis oil
* Favorite Herb: St. John’s Wort
* Favorite Alternative Healing Modality: massage therapy
* Favorite Inspirational Author: Thomas Moore
* Favorite Affirmation: I honour my truth.
* First Tarot Deck: Robin Wood Tarot
* Favorite Tarot Card: The High Priestess
* Favorite Sign to spend a Saturday afternoon with: no preference, really
* Favorite Form of Divination: Tarot
* Favorite Movie with a Metaphysical or Psychic Theme: I can’t think of one
* Favorite Alternative Name for Yourself: Silverlotus
* Favorite Form of Meditation: working with my chakras, although I’m not good at it
* Favorite Grounding Technique: sending energy into the Earth
* Favorite Spirit Guide: none
* Favorite Archangel: none
* Favorite Animal Totem: none, I guess
* New Age or Metaphysical Book Currently Being Read: Chicken Qabalah by Lon Milo Duquette
* Does Your Family Know About Your Metaphysical Interests? Yes, but not to the full extent
* If You Could Change Anything About Your Life, What Would It Be? I would write
* Favorite Words of Wisdom: Be true to yourself and your dreams

Also, this is post number 400 for the Pond. I would never have guessed that I had this much to say.

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28 Jan 05

Exploring the Tree

I’ve recently started to re-read Lon Milo Duquette The Chicken Qabalah. It is an excellent introduction to all the things a dilettante needs to know about the mystical Qabalah, and it has really got me thinking. I’m starting to wonder how the path that a cards sits on on the Tree of Life affects its meaning, and what happens to that card’s meaning if one uses a different arrangement of paths (as there are more then one). And what about the card’s meaning in each of the four Qabalistic worlds? How does it change, or does it change at all?

In the past, I wasn’t really interested in the Qabalah, partly because I saw it as being tied to the patriarchal religions I was trying to leave behind. But now I am realizing that it is part of the greater “Western Mystery Tradition”, which Wicca also belongs to. I may not agree with all the theory behind Qabalah, but I am finding it an extremely useful tool, and I think it would be foolish of me to ignore it any longer. And besides, there are at least two good books available that look at the Qabalah from a Wiccan perspective.

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